yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
