There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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