Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
