I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
