My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your cock deserves a montage
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
