in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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