I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
