Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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