.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
