so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
