apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
