There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
