I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
