Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
