i jhust puked up my retainher.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
nutella sex= disaster
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
