He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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