Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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