Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
