none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
