So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize