his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
