Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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