If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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