dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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