Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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