Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I only lived at night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
