Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
