Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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