I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
