Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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