Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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