i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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