John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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