we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
