I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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