whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
