TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
