belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I could teleport
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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