If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mom said you looked used
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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