im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
