So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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