Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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