giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
