I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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