He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
