Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
