I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
