Nicole vs. Life
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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