oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
