im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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